What We Think We Want vs. What We Actually Need

I recently came across three brilliant and thoroughly thought-provoking articles from three different writers, each circling around the same theme: how we choose, spend, and live with intention.

1. Henrik Karlsson — Don’t Sacrifice the Wrong Thing

Henrik Karlsson, who writes the wonderful Substack Escaping Flatland, makes a deceptively simple point: clarity about what you really want in life makes it easier to say no to the things that only look or feel good, but don’t actually add meaning.

He frames these “no’s” not as true sacrifices but as obvious decisions once you recognize what genuinely matters. His practical heuristic is to constantly ask yourself: What is the opportunity cost? By running every decision through that filter, you orient yourself toward the choices that add value and naturally avoid the ones that don’t.

I couldn’t agree more. Of course, it isn’t easy—it’s insanely hard. But then again, I can’t think of any good thing in life that comes easily.

2. Sherry Ning — You’re Overspending Because You Lack Values

The second article is from Sherry Ning, whose writing is always sharp and thought-provoking. In You’re Overspending Because You Lack Values, she argues that overspending isn’t a budgeting problem but a spiritual problem.

Working in finance, I’ve long felt that the biggest money mistakes come from a lack of a philosophy of money. Sherry’s framing complements this perfectly. She observes that we try to buy all sorts of objects to fill a void—status, attention, belonging—but these objects don’t deliver what they promise.

Her best insight is that strong values act as a sieve, filtering out empty cravings and letting through only the things that truly add value to your life. It’s such a simple metaphor, but it captures something most of us forget: money isn’t just about numbers; it’s about meaning.

3. Ian Leslie — 10 Ways to Buy Happiness

Finally, Ian Leslie, who writes The Ruffian, published 10 Ways to Buy Happiness, a piece offering ten practical tips on how to spend well. Even though much of it is behind a paywall, the unpaywalled portion alone is worth the read.

One suggestion that struck me was Distrust Impulse: resist the urge to immediately buy whatever you think you want. Give it time, and more often than not, the impulse fades—and you realize you didn’t really need it.

It’s such a small piece of advice, but paired with Karlsson’s opportunity-cost heuristic and Ning’s sieve of values, it rounds out a powerful trio of ideas on how to choose better.

Taken together, these three writers are circling the same truth from different angles:

Karlsson teaches us to define what matters and measure every choice against opportunity cost.
Ning reminds us that without values, money seeps into meaningless purchases.
Leslie offers the practical nudge to distrust impulse and give time the chance to work.

None of these are easy. In fact, they’re hard. But the hard things—choosing well, spending wisely, living with intention—are the things that ultimately make life richer.